Do you ever get a day where you contemplate what life would be like to be invisible? To literally be able to go about your life, but not have to interact, be seen, encounter people, just nothing. Or do you ever wonder what life would be like if you weren’t around, who it would affect, who would miss you etc?
As a firey natured person with a loud personality, I often find it hard to remove myself from a situation and to simply just shut off and have a nothing day where you appreciate what life has given you. And when I do, I seem to have such an impact on the people around me because they aren’t used to me being quiet, or me not talking, or simply me just being me. And instantly.. Something is wrong, something isn’t right. Which in turn makes me question if I am mentally okay, even though I know I am! I’m just tired and don’t want to deal with people for a little while. I want my bubble.
Here’s a few little things I have learnt the past couple of years that help me make it through each week…
1. Know the difference in your mental state. Know when you’re tired, know when you’re sad, know when you’re angry etc. There are huge differences and they get wrapped up into one big ball of emotion, when in reality, we can control each individual one. Once you’ve learnt the difference, you can begin to learn how to control each one.
2. Find something you love doing. Something as simple as writing, or drawing, or doodling or painting. Whatever it is, make time for it once a week. Maybe even twice a week!! Let your mind drift away to a happy place where you don’t think, you just do. Hell, it could even be sex!! (and I mean… Why wouldn’t it be) So make that time happen! This allows your brain to fully unwind and gives you some “me time”
3. If you’re in a relationship, don’t stop your life for that one person. I used to isolate myself solely in my previous relationship. I lost friends that meant so much to me and began pushing away those who stubbornly stood by me. Make time for your friends, your family and potentially meeting new friends. Those will be the ones there to pick you up and help you when the going has skipped getting tough and just got shit real quick.
4. If you’re in a relationship, make relationship time! Sounds contradicting to my last statement.. But get that balance right. Make time for the two of you to chill out, talk about things, watch a movie, go to a new restaurant. Anything. They’ll respect you for getting that balance and wanting to see your friends.. If they don’t, it’ll become suffocating.. Well it does for me anyway.. Because I love my space!
5. Treat each day as a slate wiped clean. It’s fresh. It’s new. It’s not yesterday. This is the one I struggle with the most, I’m a stickler for holding a grudge and carrying yesterday’s anger. But the more we can leave negativity in the past, the better. Imagine someone putting a rock in your bag every time something negative happened. And each day you carried that bag, still adding in the rocks. The bag would get heavier, more exhausting, more tiring to move. Yes, you will grow stronger, you will learn to deal with the pain, you will motivate yourself to push on past it.. But if you got rid of those rocks, your day would be ten times easier. So choose the easiest path. The easier the better, right?!
6. Don’t bottle things up. Just don’t do it. A problem shared is a problem halved. Bottling things up leads to a shaken bottle exploding.. Not worth it. Messy. Unwanted..(waste of money too)
7. Finally, even though I could go on forever.. Find something that challenges you and go for it. I three myself out of my comfort zone last year completely by going travelling for 2 weeks with my now, boyfriend, but at the time friend (‘s with benefits/just friends/mates/chums/he was in denial/he’ll screw his face up when he reads this) if you know me, you’ll know I’m a princess. I love being clean.. I love my showers, comfort, a nice bed, etc. Cambodia was a whole different world to me. I’ve never seen a third world country. And it was a shock to the system. But I got to experience it brand new with someone else and it got my little head ticking. It made me realise I want to set goals to accomplish.. Something to challenge and excite me. (but I will not be travelling again, get me a 5* all inclusive with unlimited drinks please.. And a beach.. And the sun)
Take some of this on board.. Or don’t. BUT if there is anything you do take, make time for yourself. Be yourself. Fuck everyone else. Be the queen or king you want to be. Take control of your life and fucking go for it guns blazing without a care who you take down in the process. You only live once, right?! Make it worth it!!!!!